Bennie Fowler | Leadership Lessons From the NFL, Business Coaching, and Living a Purposeful Life

Bennie Fowler 11:16

My parents were incredible. My parents were incredible in terms of the impact that they had on me, but the impact that they had on our entire family, and the example that they set, you know, my parents going to work my dad being executive, Jaguar Land Rover, for Ford Motor Company, who he was as a as the man of the house and who he was as the head of the household and the way he approached things, but then also my mom being the head of the household. My parents aren’t together anymore, but my mom being the head of the household, and really setting an example. And I’ll never forget, you know, when my brother and I decided that, you know, Hey, Mom, Dad, we want to be pro athletes, we want to be basketball players. That’s when they started getting us up at 6am 630, to run stairs, to run the hills, to do the sprints. Not to make us pro athletes, but to understand what it takes to be a pro athlete, and really laying that foundation. And you know, I ask parents all the time, how are you showing up for your kids? Are you setting the example every day of who they need to be? Have the daily habits, the daily disciplines, people want to change the world? Every, all parents and you know, not all parents, but you know, people out there want to change the world, but they’re not paying attention to what’s going on at home. And that’s where it starts.

John Corcoran 12:31

Yeah. Talk a bit about why you wrote the book Silver Spoon. And you really, you know, talk about how you had a different type of upbringing than many other professional athletes.

Bennie Fowler 12:44

Yeah. And that’s why I call the Silver Spoon. I don’t have the typical athlete story. You know, I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan. But that doesn’t guarantee me a chance in the NFL, I have the same chance that people have in different situations. So I wanted to explain the principles of success. And they all look, I think there are core principles to success, but they all look different in people. And nobody has that. That proven path. You know, I love that. Sometimes you see these ads of how to make six figures in 30 days and follow my blueprint, and I have the ultimate success formula. That’s why I call mine the imperfect guy, just success. There are some principles here. Follow them how they fit into your life, not how I did it, because I did my way and my way looks different than my brothers. And then my dad’s and my fiance, and soon to be wife, we all have different paths. And I don’t want to tell people like oh, you have to do it like this, that or no, it doesn’t happen like that. So you know, everybody has to go through their trial and error and build their own kind of roadmap to success. But there are certain things like hard work, dedication, discipline, being accountable, surrounding yourself with the right people, for the kids, and the other people who want to aspire to be professional athletes. You know, there’s a chapter in there that you don’t have to be an athlete to make a million out of the most successful people that I know, in terms of wealth, are not athletes. 

John Corcoran 14:21

I love that point about surrounding yourself with the right types of people. Talk a little bit about how you went about that when you were in high school, college and then that that was your goal to be a professional athlete. Because you know, when I was in college, my best friend from high school actually was on the UCLA football team. And I spent a lot of time there hanging out with the different players some of whom made it to the NFL and spent a bunch of years there, others who were you know not taking this seriously partying on the weekend stuff like that. What was your you know, how did you figure out who you wanted to spend your time with?

Bennie Fowler 14:57

Why did I have a good time on the weekends after games? Sure so

John Corcoran 15:02

to hear but boy, it’s kind of hard not to Michigan State.

Bennie Fowler 15:05

Yeah, exactly, exactly. But I think the way I kind of gravitated, I’ve always made friends in different ways. I think about the friends that I had and the people that I have the utmost respect for, people that are relationship driven, but also will challenge you. So relationally driven, but also, you know, will speak up and challenge you as people. So the guys that I kind of sought out, I’ve always sought out the best player at my position or on my side of the ball, or just somebody who would challenge me to be the best version of myself. So when I was at Michigan State, it was a guy like, you know, Blair white, he was a senior when I was a freshman, he went on to play with the Indianapolis Colts and with Peyton Manning as well. I think about you know, guys like BJ cutting Markdale. But on the other side of the ball, you know, Darqueze Dennard was one of my favorite people, one of my best friends, still one of my really good friends to this day, but he was somebody who challenged me in terms of being better, or I needed to be better. And it was like, I’m not going to patch on the back for being mediocre. You know, so I think I really appreciate those types of relationships, I think about you know, what my brother means to me. Of course, we’re brothers and we’d see the world very similarly, but my brother’s not afraid to call me out. That’s what I appreciate the most. In terms of people, I’ve sought out Julius Thomas, when I first got to the NFL Demaryius, Thomas DMA or Sanders, those are people who are relationally driven with me, but also challenged me to be the best version of myself. And that’s the thing, you know, if no one can hold you accountable, then you’ll never grow. And everybody’s always looking for the pat on the back to see even some of these CEOs that I’ve been around, might not necessarily work with. But they’re always right. If you’re always right, then I mean, you’re there’s no growth there.

John Corcoran 16:51

Hmm. I want to ask you about while we’re on the topic of the people that you’ve come across, you’ve you’ve played with you, you’ve worked with, you work with both Peyton Manning and Eli Manning, what were their particular leadership styles between the two of them? You mentioned your brother a couple of times. So those are two brothers who have been at the highest levels in the NFL, what were they both like, individually.

Bennie Fowler 17:17

Both of the Manning brothers were incredible leaders. I think Eli was more of a lead by example, you know, pull you by the side, you know, just put his arm around you. Peyton was more direct, let you know, and also led by example. Both of them were great storytellers. Both of them were super serious when it was time to be, you know, be at practice or in a meeting. But you know, they were one of the guys though, in terms of being at the locker room or being at the lunch table. And just laughing, you know, they didn’t think they were better than anyone else. It didn’t matter if you knew what your job role was, or, you know, if they sat down to have lunch with you, they would enjoy a conversation with you and get to know you and they know your family. And ultimately, you know, just the ultimate competitors. But you know, really good human beings. Yeah.

John Corcoran 18:10

Any other you mentioned Tom Brady and Bill Belichick. Any other players or coaches that you would know, that you learned a bit about leadership or or mentorship from?

Bennie Fowler 18:25

Yeah, definitely. I mean, Drew Brees, and Sean Payton last year, two of the best leaders and you know, what they were able to accomplish, but their, you know, their authenticity, their transparency in the way they kind of do things, leadership takes on so many different looks and styles. There’s no one way to lead. And I think that’s what I’ve learned the most in the NFL is that there’s so many different ways to lead in so many different ways that you can actually get through to people. And we’re all different. We all have different walks of life and different backgrounds. And if you want people to get to, to run through a wall for you or to do something for you, you have to get to know that person for that to happen.

John Corcoran 19:02

Yeah, it’s funny. I mean, probably the number one question I’ve gotten from people over the years is what was Bill Clinton like in person? And unfortunately, I’ve been around at least three or four presidents in person. I met Barack Obama, I saw him before he was President. And when he was president, it’s interesting, the different types and styles of charisma that people have, you know, leadership charisma,

Bennie Fowler 19:23

You know, it’s crazy to be able to meet Barack after we won the Super Bowl and go to the White House. What was an incredible experience but I would be curious to hear you know, just from you. What was that like in terms of being around people of that stature, me around the most powerful man in the world? Yeah,

John Corcoran 19:44

well, it’s kind of consumed like that in the NFL sometimes. Right. But fate man for a little while. Yeah, well, we’ll keep the longer stories for your podcast, but yeah, just briefly, I mean, it’s actually relevant to the discussion about ups and downs because The first time I met Barack Obama, he was Senator Barack Obama. And it was in 2007. He was running for president against Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton was like this. She was like a rocket ship. Everyone thought she was gonna get the nomination. Everyone thought Barack Obama wasn’t gonna win. But he had this credibly clear eyed, steady determination. They call them no drama, Obama, he was not dramatic about it, he was just certain, as all the only way I can describe it, and a roomful of people around him, they were just like, taken up by him. You know, we’re just like, so impressed by him. That was the first time I met him. And then you know, it’s very different. When you meet someone when they’re President later, you know, you got the, especially in the East Room of the White House or in the south lawn or something, you got all the trappings of the presidency. But yeah, I’ve also met President presidential candidates who are running for the office and seeing them behind closed doors, and they operate very differently. You know, same thing with business leaders. And actually, one thing I’m really curious about is, you know, you’ve worked with hundreds of different business leaders. Wow. In the NFL, how does one go about doing that? Did you just like, you know, get the word out? Did you say, Hey, guys, I’m, I’m open for coaching. Now, usually, the phone doesn’t just start ringing, especially when people think like, well, he’s a wide receiver in the NFL, I can’t call him. So how did you get so many different clients while also holding down a day job?

Bennie Fowler 21:22

Yeah, that was more in the offseason that wasn’t during the season. So that was more in the offseason where I was doing the coaching, but it was a lot in the offseason. Yeah, there were a lot of coaching engagements that I was able to go to different entrepreneurs in the same coaching class, I mean, every coaching class that I would go to would usually have about 40 different people, and you’re coaching them, and you’re meeting these different people. So that’s kind of how it happened. It happened more in a networking atmosphere, and then it would lead to one on ones it would lose lead to different group settings. But it was all in the offseason. Last year was the first time I took five clients into a season. And it’s easy to manage that because Tuesday’s your off day. So it might look like one so you know, I’m only doing one session a month, you know, while I was playing, but now it’s full time. So that’s how I was able to juggle it. It was all offseason work. Got it.

John Corcoran 22:17

Got it. And then one of the things that I find is so hard when you’ve competed at a really high level, is being willing to do the things that you did, they got you to that high level again, later, right? Like they talk about Kobe Bryant, you know, even after he won championships, he’d get up at 5am, the next morning, 4:30am the next morning and be out there by himself in the middle of a dark jam, you know, that’s rare. It’s rare that people do that, you know. So it is hard to like, decide, I’m going to go into a new career, I’m going to be doing coaching, I’m going to be in the business world, and get yourself up off the couch and go out to an event, you know, and introduce yourself. And part of it’s a mindset thing where it’s kind of like, jeez, like, shouldn’t they be coming to me? So how do you balance battle with that stuff?

Bennie Fowler 23:06

Well, number one, when it comes to when you ask that type of question, I don’t think anybody just deserves to like, oh, yeah, they’re just gonna come to me unless you are like the pages of the world. Your purpose is what gets you out of bed in the morning. Now everybody talks about purpose. And you hear things about the why. And, you know, it’s kind of everybody’s kind of, you know, kind of sick of hearing about that, but really it’s about the purpose. But you don’t have to have this incredible purpose, like a Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, where you want a Microsoft computer on every home or on every desk in every home in America. What’s your purpose every single day? And for me, like I have an everyday purpose, which is to tell a football story. That’s a different everyday purpose. Like you have to get out of bed to do that. And then I have a higher purpose in terms of helping a million people live and lead into their full potential by conversation, through podcasts, through coaching, through speaking engagements, through team coaching. That’s what gets me out of bed. That’s what gets me going in a different direction to go out there and meet people and to get outside of my comfort zone. It’s something bigger than me. And I didn’t always have something like that that has transformed over time. And as you know, I had a life changing conversation. But this world is built off of relationships. No one is going to care in 10 years that I played in the NFL, no one’s gonna care in 20 years, no one’s gonna care in 50 years, it’ll be a cool thing. It will get me in a lot of doors, but who I am after is going to keep me in those doors. And that goes for any other athlete that goes for anybody. Like everybody’s doing something great. Everybody has these unique skills and talents. So who you are as a person is actually more important. So you have to take care of yourself. You have to have that mindset, you have to be open minded, you have to learn how to grow, you have to learn how to have tough conversations, you have to be in uncomfortable situations.

John Corcoran 25:09

And then a related question. So you grew up around your dad, who was an executive in the Ford Motor Company. So maybe it just came natural to you to be around executives. But, you know, was, was when you got started with coaching Did you? Did you have moments where you’re like, God, what am I doing here? Like, why am I coaching this 50 year old CEO, you know, like, for me, like, it’s like such a switch from like, you know, Wednesday through Monday, it’s all out intense, athleticism, professional athlete. And then Tuesday, it’s talking about talking with a CEO who’s got a problem, they got to fire their HR director or something like that, like, how did you find the commonalities? In shared experiences, and, and make it relatable for them,

Bennie Fowler 25:58

It’s literally the same thing. It’s literally the same stress. What do you know, they kind of go through, the reason why I can relate to CEOs is because we’re entrepreneurs, because if you think about a football team, it’s 53 entrepreneurs on one team coming together for one common goal on a Sunday. But you might not like this guy over here, or the quarterback might be mad at you, or the head coaches put you in the doghouse, how are you going to navigate these things? So the team can win? Same thing that goes on in business, you know, miss, you have some C suites that nah, I got to deal with this guy. All right, they don’t want to go to work, you know, the kind of a losing streak type of deal. But how do they bring their best selves to their team? How do they lead their team? How do they leave their direct reports, that’s going to drive at the end of the day, in your career, you’re judged based on performance. And you know, the CEOs that I’m talking to these people that I’m working with, they understand their business, they understand what needs to get done, but sometimes you can’t tell the forest from the trees, and just having a simple conversation gives perspective. And, you know, seeing what the goal is, seeing what the reality is, what are the options and then, you know, making some commitment to like what you actually will do will help you grow. Hmm,

John Corcoran 27:14

I think that answered the previous question, which was how you got so many clients? That was a perfect answer. I know we’re running out of time, Bennie, I want to wrap up with my final question, which is, I’m a big fan of gratitude. You know, and you’ve mentioned so many names here. But what if you look around to your peers and contemporaries, however, you wanted to find that you had years in the NFL, so perhaps, perhaps teenage teammates or coaches maybe at the collegiate level, or it could be you know, mentors in the business world, put your activity, admire who are people that you would want to call out and acknowledge,

Bennie Fowler 27:50

there’s a lot of people that I would love to call out and acknowledge number one, not number one, but starting with my dad, and the foundation that he laid for myself and my siblings, my mom, the same in what she did, and you know, who she is as a person, and you know, how much she means to me and her being, you know, my best friend, and then also my brother, my hero, but then my fiancee, like, I get a chance to learn from my fiance on a day to day basis in terms of, she gives me a different lens and a different perspective on what life looks like. And, you know, you know, the fact that we’ve grown in our relationship, I think, you know, she was somebody that I would like to, you know, respect and admire and, you know, just, you know, give a shout out to but then I have you know, friends from Dre MA and his respect in his in challenging me, Julius Thomas, an incredible mentor to Marius, Thomas male Sanders, Merill Evans, a really good friend of mine, who’s in the tech world. And they’re just so many different people who are very close to me. And then I had to think about, you know, AJ troupe who was an actor, as an aspiring actor in Hollywood, Ty Clark, a really good friend of mine, who’s starting his own company that’s got so many great people that are doing so many incredible things that I respect.

John Corcoran 29:12

That’s great. Bennie, Quiet Time is the podcast, Silver Spoon is the book. Where can people go to connect with you and learn more about you? 

Bennie Fowler 29:20

Yeah, people can go to LinkedIn, connect with me on LinkedIn and shoot me a message saying, Rise25, you know, John Rise25. And then we can have a conversation from there. So, you know, I’m open and engaged. You know, I like to connect with everybody. And I’m so glad we got a chance to do this and share this conversation. So John, I appreciate you having me on.

John Corcoran 29:40

This is awesome. Thanks so much.

Outro 29:41

Thank you for listening to the Smart Business Revolution Podcast with John Corcoran. Find out more at smartbusinessrevolution.com. And while you’re there, sign up for our email list and join the revolution. And be listening for the next episode of the Smart Business Revolution Podcast.