John Corcoran 12:06
But I want to dive into how this affected you emotionally, because you adopted her because she was deaf. You’d grown up with deaf parents, and you actually had some shame and guilt I understand around this when this happened?
Jessica Aiello 12:22
Yeah, It has been a really long journey for me. It was for me at the time, it was heartbreaking to feel this sense of wanting something so bad and being so close to it, to not getting it, and feel like there was loss in wanting.
John Corcoran 12:41
Wanting to raise a deaf child.
Jessica Aiello 12:46
Yes, in wanting to raise a deaf child, and that loss created this major sense of grief. It created a major sense of shame and a major sense of guilt on both sides. You know, I had told everyone that would listen, that I was in the process of adopting a deaf child. This was both an internal drive and an external drive. For me, it was the sense of at the time. It was the sense of my identity, having deaf parents, having deaf siblings, feeling so intertwined and and feeling a part of that community, and feeling like this was something I was called to do, and having an experience.
That was something so very different, and at the time, it was very hard for me to understand some of those pieces, and the shame and guilt of not not having a deaf child after going through that experience, and the shame and guilt of telling people why I was so upset by it, right? Many people when they hear the story that she was born deaf and now she’s miraculous, right?
John Corcoran 14:08
They think it’s a miracle, yeah, yeah.
Jessica Aiello 14:12
And my response, I either had to hold my shame and guilt and say, yes, it’s so amazing, oh yeah, to try and explain, yeah, or I had to try to explain it, and there was such a fear of what I could say, what I should say, what I wanted to say, and what people would perceive, right that judgment.
John Corcoran 14:30
What is wrong with you? Why don’t you think it’s a good thing?
Jessica Aiello 14:35
Yeah, and It took me several years to get to where I am now. I mean, she’s she’s extremely healthy, and she’s thriving, and she She’s eight, she’ll be nine in February, and I really do believe today, looking back on the journey, everything happens the way that it is supposed to, it has taught me a lot of life lessons, and it’s been a it’s been a really impactful experience in my life.
John Corcoran 14:59
So. So I haven’t personally gone through a divorce. So at the risk of drawing comparisons, it seems like there are similarities, because when you go through a divorce, there’s usually one emotion, right? People like, Oh, I’m sorry that you’re going through that. Sometimes the person going through the divorce is like, actually, no, this is a great thing, so you kind of maybe experience that as well going through a divorce.
Jessica Aiello 15:22
Yeah, you know, I think it’s, it’s really interesting people when, whenever there’s grief, and I, and I, I use the word grief because there is a sense of loss. No matter if the person is the one that wanted the divorce or initiated the divorce or did not. There’s still a sense of loss and a sense of loneliness and a sense of confusion and all the things. And when there’s grief involved, people really are uncomfortable and they don’t know how to act, and so they say things to try to what they think is making you feel there. Yeah, and yes. So I think it is very similar.
I think for me, there was a lot of parallel in what I was feeling and what I was experiencing, and when, when my daughter came home, that was, that was just two years prior to the divorce, and I think, you know, going through a divorce very soon after that experience kind of just added layers upon layers for me that at the time, I wasn’t willing, and I didn’t have the tools. I just didn’t I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t have the tools to process any of it. Yeah, right. So it just, it became this overload of emotion and this weight, this burden that I fell into, the strap of just running from for a really long time.
John Corcoran 16:50
So you, at some point start, I assume, reading up on plant medicine, hearing about plant medicine, you end up trying it at an EO chapter retreat, I believe it was or an EO forum retreat. Take us through that story, how that ended up happening. Yeah,
Jessica Aiello 17:08
so I actually, I think it found me before I found it. So a forum made of mine that I was really close to, had quite a bit of experience with plant medicine, and had shared a lot about it, and I had always kind of just disregarded it. It was not something that was like in my field, at all. At the time, we were on a forum retreat, and people will sometimes call me a catalyst for connection, or like a super connector type of person.
And so we were on a form EO forum retreat, and one of my forum mates had asked me to find somebody right, find a shaman, find somebody who can have this, who can do this experience. Even at the time, you know, it was only going to be a few people in the forum that were going to do it. And so within, you know, a few hours, we had somebody scheduled to do medicine, medicine experience, and I had no idea what it was, and decided within minutes whether I was going to do it or not.
John Corcoran 18:33
And you also didn’t. This is not starting with a little joint here, and it’s not starting with a little bit of mushrooms here. You tell, tell what you tried. No,
Jessica Aiello 18:41
no, this was jumping into a full DMT experience, which is that, where does that come from? So, DMT comes from the bark in the Amazon. It is an extremely powerful medicine. DMT is also known as the god molecule. It is very potent at even very small amounts, and it’s also a very short experience in duration. So it’s about 15 minutes of an experience. And so having never done it before, I thought to myself, 15 minutes like, what could happen in 15 minutes? Right?
In my mind, I’m thinking, Well, I don’t know anything about ayahuasca, but that is, you know, eight hours, 10 hours, that’s a day lunch for me, yeah, like, at the time, that was just too much for me. And 15 minutes seemed so manageable, sure. And little did I know that in that 15 minutes, my wife completely transformed in ways that I am still processing today. And this is, you know, six, seven years later.
John Corcoran 19:54
What was it? What was the experience like? That was so radical.
Jessica Aiello 19:59
Yeah, my DMT experience was extremely visceral for me. It was extremely physical. It was extremely visual. So I was completely transported into my thoughts and emotions. I can remember exactly the feeling where I had to let go of my ego, where I had to make a decision in a split second, to fight it and stay here or trust it and surrender and just let go. And I surrendered, and I let go, and it was magical and also extremely confusing, right? I had no sense of where I was. I had no sense of who I was, but I was deep inside of my feelings.
I vividly remember the story and the scenario and the feelings that were coming up for me around fear and shame and guilt and the feminine and the masculine, and for me my my visions of what I saw were snakes anacondas, and They often do come in DMT or ayahuasca experiences. So it’s a very powerful animal that can present itself in these experiences. And for me, there was, you know, one white Anaconda and many yellow anacondas.
And I won’t go through the entire experience. It would take quite a bit of time, but in the end, I represented the many yellow anacondas, and at the end of my experience, I transformed into one solid yellow Anaconda with lots of strength and lots of beauty and and lots of resilience. And that experience for me allowed me to transform and go to some of the deepest, darkest places of those feelings, and see myself, feel myself and trust myself coming out on the other side,
John Corcoran 22:14
going through all of that I’m thinking about was this, would you say this was out of character for you to have this experience at this moment in time.
Jessica Aiello 22:23
It was out of character in the moment because of everything that was going on in my world, and out of character because I would not have found myself in that scenario.
John Corcoran 22:38
And I want to ask you about what the reaction was like afterwards when you tried to tell people about it. And one amusing anecdote is, before you did it, you had a boyfriend, you texted him, he was 13 years over, and said, I’m doing DMT. And you turned off your phone.
Jessica Aiello 22:56
Yes, I did. I sent him a message. Mind you. We were out of the country. I sent him a message and said, Hey, I’m going to do this thing. And then my phone turned off, and my phone turned off for a few hours. The experience was 15 minutes. But we went there, and we had this whole ceremony, and there were several of us that went. And then there was, you know, a period of integration, albeit very short, but a period of integration, and then we got back, you know, to where we’re staying. And I think the reaction from people, most people in my life, were just a bit shocked, like, what did? What did you do? Yeah, and I was shocked by the fact that you did it.
John Corcoran 23:42
Are they shocked by the changes that they see in you,
Jessica Aiello 23:46
I think, at the time? So the answer is both, I think at the time, it was what I did it, it seemed to them that it was extremely impulsive and it wasn’t well thought out, and it was just it happened so abruptly, which is not necessarily out of character, but what it was right, what was happening was very out of character for me. And I think still to this day, there are people in my life that will tell me that they are shocked to see the change physically, emotionally, just in their connection with me, their relationship with me. So many things a long way have changed, and it’s definitely been an experience that has transformed me from the inside out.
John Corcoran 24:34
And, so one of the changes that came as a result of it is you? You said that after the medicine journey, you felt that the accessibility business had really defined you and your family in your community, and you had to figure out your identity afterwards. So talk a little bit about that journey.
Jessica Aiello 24:53
Yeah. So you know, for the longest time I would introduce myself as you know, I’m Jessica yellow. Both of my parents are deaf, sign language is my first language. I learned English later in school, and that’s how I identified. It was, you know, growing up, or in any environment that we were in any EO, you know, sessions, it was like, you know, find the one thing that is different about you, and that would always be the thing for me was always my identity, and it was all I knew. I ran a very successful business in the accessibility space, providing language access for deaf and hard of hearing individuals, and I never allowed myself to dream that I could be anything other than what I was doing in that space, in that community and going through this experience, one of the biggest things that I realized is that is a part of me.
It is a piece of me, and it doesn’t define everything about who I am, because I and Jessica, that is one. That is the one pillar. And then there are branches and leaves and having deaf parents and using American Sign Language is just one of those branches right on the root of the tree that I stand in and it took me a long time to understand and recognize that piece, and it’s definitely something that that is a daily thought of mine, because it has been so many years that it’s that it’s been such a deep part of me. And so my journey lately has really been redefining who I am and who I want to be and how I want to show up, knowing that my purpose here on this earth is to serve, and I serve by way of connection, community and consciousness.
John Corcoran 26:56
And, it took you a couple years to figure out that you are ready to replace yourself as CEO of the company and hire a new CEO. That’s a long time when you are going through this own identity crisis and trying to figure out what you want to be at the same time to have to do the previous role that you’d been doing for so long, when you’re kind of mentally checking out and moving on, and also hire someone to replace yourself that can move into the existing team and fit with everyone else. That’s a difficult process.
Jessica Aiello 27:31
Yes, there were lots of challenging and difficult moments. I felt like I had a ball in a chain tied to my leg right. It was every time I wanted to move right, I would be pulled left, and every time I wanted to move left, I would be pulled right, and I felt so held down right. I felt like I could not move forward in direction, because there were so many different things that were pulling at me, knowing that I I was maxed out running and operating a business, and I was burnt out, and knowing that everyone within that business needed somebody to come in and run it, plus trying to unravel a, you know, basically an almost 15 year marriage relationship, plus unraveling a business with my ex husband, there were so many layers and pieces to it that all were grabbing attention. And when I finally got to the point of realizing that this business needed somebody else at its helm, and needed to to be there to support it and run it and take it to the next level. That set me down a path of feeling much lighter knowing that it was going to be a journey to find the right person. And thankfully, I found the right person.
John Corcoran 29:00
And you’ve said that before your medicine journey, your head and your heart were really disconnected. You were driven. You were, you know, focused on speed or taking time for yourself. And after, you feel like your head and your heart are more connected to one another. Explore that a little bit more for me.
Jessica Aiello 29:17
Yeah. So I ran. I ran that business with my ex husband. At the time, my husband worked 60, 7080, hours a week. And the mentality that I had at the time growing that business for 15 years was hustle, hustle, hustle. How fast can I grow? How quickly can I get there? What are the pieces I need to put in place, and it was very impulsive. Everything was just go, go, go, go, go mentality, without taking a break and and checking in and seeing how I feel and seeing how other people feel around me, it was a very hustle mindset for me, and I. I had always watched other people that I felt were way more in their heart, and the story that I would tell myself was that that I’m so far away from that I can’t connect with, that those people are over here in La La Land, and they are not able to be successful. I can be successful because I don’t have to worry about my feelings.
I don’t have time for that. I’m just going to go, go, go, go, go, and whatever’s in my way. I’m just going to push through it, after having medicine experiences and after working with a variety of modalities and connecting to my heart and spending so much time basically coming back home and into myself and dropping into my feelings. It was amazing. It still is amazing, the things that I find who I am, the things that I like, the things that I don’t like. I had never made space for them before, right? It was just suck it up and move forward, and this whole idea of voice and alignment and what feels right and what does not feel right, and being able to check in with my own energy or check in with my gut has been a beautiful journey for me to kind of experience firsthand, but also to witness myself in that I have spent a lot of time and continue to work with clients and support clients to really marrying this to this hustle mindset and heart mindset, because I used to think that you had to give up your heart to hustle, and that I would think that the people that had so much heart gave up their hustle.
And it’s taken me some time to really understand that the two can be married and blended in a very beautiful way. You can hustle and you can hustle hard with heart, right? And there’s a really beautiful way to do that. There’s a beautiful way to make an impact in this world while hustling and staying very connected to who you are and very aligned to your heart.
John Corcoran 32:08
How did you figure out, you know, having gone through this personal experience and journey, how did you figure out that you wanted to be involved in doing this work and helping others?
Jessica Aiello 32:21
I don’t know that. I figured it out. I think it just came to me. I think, you know, I was sitting in a hot Bay session having just finished hop a and part of what is that ha pay is a indigenous tobacco that is used. It blew my nose. You can self-serve it, or you can have somebody serve it to you. And it is not a psychedelic experience. I would say it’s more of a master plant medicine. It is for me. It is an emotional and mental experience. It has some physical experience, just from a physical discomfort perspective, because something blows up your nose.
But I have a very rich and deep relationship with that plant medicine, and I use it a lot of times to center myself and ground myself, and also ask for guidance in one of my help a sessions afterwards, one of the things that came to me was that I realized that from the moment that I was born, I was here to serve right having deaf parents and being hearing. I was here to serve and support them and make sure that they had what they needed and they were taken care of. For a long time, I thought, Oh, I have to serve others, and I forgot to serve myself along the way.
And what I realized now, and even after this update session, is, yes, I am here to serve, and that serving only works when I can fully serve myself. I am able to show up for other people and serve them, and that’s really what’s led me to this experience, is I feel and I am extremely whole when I know that others have a place where they are seen and heard and safe and belong and they feel included for all that they are.
John Corcoran 34:32
Yeah, it’s been really fascinating, and we’re recording this the end of 2024 but it’s been fascinating for me over the last few years to learn about the history of psychedelics, particularly in the United States from the 1960s to now and and there’s been kind of a renaissance and a lot of a lot of interest in it. There’s also been some legal setbacks where there’s been some rulings on a federal level. And. Um, that would have expanded access to various different psychedelics.
What do you think about that? Because it is still scheduled for one drug. It is still, in spite of overwhelming evidence that it’s not addictive, that it’s not damaging, certainly as much as other things which are more socially acceptable, like alcohol. How do you think about that, you know, dealing with something that you know is part of your vocation now, but that does have a lot of risk involved.
Jessica Aiello 35:29
Yeah, so there’s definitely risks. Right for me, the risks outweigh the rewards. I should say yes, because I know that the work that I’m doing impacts so many people, right? It’s a ripple effect. So if I can impact just the first line of people that I work with, they will be able to impact their first line of people. And it changes. And it is this ripple effect that will ripple across the world, and that’s really important to me. I think that we are in the very early stages of change, and I think there’s a pendulum, and that pendulum always swings right. It’s always going to swing. I think a lot of the reason that we are where we are is because there’s just not enough information.
There’s not enough education about it. I would love to see us do more by way of educate when it comes to preparing and integrating these experiences, harm reduction, understanding why people do these experiences, and what happens in the experience, than just pushing for these medicines to be regulated and legalized, because once people get an understanding, a real sense of understanding about what these medicines are, what they do, the impact they have on us, how you prepare to do these medicines, what happens after you do these medicines? I think when people get a better understanding of it, they have a holistic package.
It’s an easier answer if it’s a no brainer, right? I also think that we live in a world where there’s a wide variety and a wide range of people, and to some extent, there needs to be some regulation on this. There is danger in everything. That is true for alcohol, it is also true for coffee, it is true for food, right? So there’s a spectrum here, and I think that it is important for things to be regulated, and I think it’s going to take us time to get there. You mentioned You have four kids.
John Corcoran 37:39
I have four kids also, how do you talk to the younger generation about this?
Jessica Aiello 37:47
So I think it’s a very personal preference. It is. It’s what we feel comfortable with, talking to the kids about it, versus having the kids do it versus having the kids be around it. There’s a lot of layers to it. A lot of it circles back to some earlier feelings that I shared before, around shame and guilt, right? There’s shame and guilt around hiding things from our children, and then our children growing up and saying, I wish that our parents just told us, right? Did they not trust us enough to just tell us their shame and guilt ?
If I tell them, what are other people and what are their friends’ parents going to think and should I be shameful for that, or should I be guilty about it? So I want to hide it from them. For us, it’s a balance between our kids. You know, we host a lot of indigenous tribes and communities at our house and our property and our children are around them, and I think that that’s really important, because a lot of these medicines do have such an indigenous influence over us, and in those cultures, they grow up into it, right? There is no before medicine, after medicine, what does this medicine mean? They grow up into it. It’s an everyday experience, kind of like you’re brushing your teeth, not that they do medicine every day, but that they grow up in it, and it becomes normalized for them. And so our children have been around many different tribal members and many different indigenous communities.
And while they don’t sit in medicine, we do talk to them about why the tribes are here and what they’re doing and that they bring indigenous medicines. My children know about plant medicine in general, right? They understand about cannabis. They understand that plants are food and plants have medicine and medicinal properties and what that means. Now, do they understand in full detail? No, they don’t. And then, our children are very used to seeing us sit with hot Bay and be around us serving hot Bay and experiencing hot Bay they have not. Experience it themselves, but one of my children actually knows how to serve in it and is very comfortable with it. And so I think, again, I think it’s a personal preference with children. It’s also very delicate, because it’s something that you want children to come into on their own and have their own curiosity around it and appreciate it for what it is.
John Corcoran 40:23
Jessica, this has been great. I’d love to wrap up. I like to give my guests a little bit of a space and opportunity to call out and acknowledge anyone who has helped them in their journeys, in particular, peers or contemporaries, maybe mentors. Who would you want
Jessica Aiello 40:41
to acknowledge? Yeah, so a couple of people came to mind for me. I think the first person is my forum mate who’s been a foreign mate of mine for 10 years now. For Z was AB dah Feri, and he is the reason that I came into medicine. He was the forum member that had shared a lot of a lot about it with me, and so I owe him a great amount of gratitude for being by my side before my medicine journey, during my medicine journey, and still to say, post medicine journey for sure.
John Corcoran 41:19
Yeah, cool, Jessica, where can people go to learn more about you and connect with you?
Jessica Aiello 41:24
Jessicaaiello.com, I’m also on Facebook and Instagram. Jessica Aiello, and they can reach out to me. You know, any other way?
John Corcoran 41:35
Awesome. Jessica, thanks so much. Thank you.
Outro 41:40
Thanks for listening to the Smart Business Revolution Podcast. We’ll see you again next time, and be sure to click Subscribe to get future episodes.