Top 7 Greatest Cartoon Lawyers of All Time


The ABA Journal recently published a list of the 25 Greatest Fictional Lawyers (Who Are Not Atticus Finch) and Bitter Lawyer recently published a follow up list of the 10 Greatest Fictional Lawyers (Overlooked by the ABA Journal).

In that spirit, we decided there was a third list of imaginary lawyers that hadn’t fully been exploited by either list: the Greatest Cartoon Lawyers of all Time.

First, we had to set some ground rules for this list: we did not include any real life figures depicted in cartoons or drawings, such as a lawyer-politician in a political cartoon. We only included fictional animated lawyers.

Perhaps not surprisingly, it wasn’t easy to come up with this list.  For whatever reason, lawyers don’t seem to make good animated characters.  I know: shocking.  You would think lawyers would make great entertainment for young children!


So without any further intro, here are the Top Seven Greatest Cartoon Lawyers of all Time.

Number 7: Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

The main character of this 2001-2007 Comedy Central TV series by the same name was an ex-superhero turned attorney working for a law firm.  Harvey Birdman worked alongside other cartoon stars from 1960s and 1970s Hanna-Barbera cartoon series.

Harvey Birdman’s clients in the series are also characters from classic Hanna-Barbera TV shows of the 1960s and 1970s.

The humor of the show was based on the fact that so many cartoon heroes and characters were doing mundane tasks like filing lawsuits and going to court. Because everyone knows filing lawsuits = nonstop funny.

Personally, I think it’s a good thing some lawyers don’t have superpowers, because a lawyer who can argue for 10 hours straight AND who has x-ray vision would be impossible to compete with.

Number 6: Blue-haired lawyer on The Simpsons (aka the “Pasty-Faced Lawyer”).

This is a recurring character on the Simpsons who has represented numerous Simpsons characters, including Mr. Burns and Bart Simpson. He has appeared both as a private practice attorney and a District Attorney in various episodes.

According to WikiSimpsons, he “quite often makes good points and sometimes wins over the judge” which can only mean one thing: the Simpsons writers must owe their lawyer some money. Because we’re not sure why the show decided to make its primary lawyer character so ethical and law-abiding.

Number 5: Steve Dallas, Bloom County comic strip.

Steve Dallas was a self-employed, unscrupulous lawyer and main figure in the Bloom County comic strip which ran in U.S. newspapers throughout the 1980s.

Dallas primarily took on long-shot cases defending criminals and accused murderers. But most of the story lines in Bloom County which revolved around Dallas focused on his aggressive womanizing and chauvinism.  He was constantly hitting on the female characters who were consistently repulsed by his put-on’s.

Oh, Dallas was also a chain-smoker just in case you didn’t get the fact that he was not to be trusted.

Number 4: Harvey Dent, District Attorney in the Batman TV Series.

District Attorney Harvey Dent was a key character in the Batman TV cartoon series which ran on Saturday morning TV during the 1980s.  Dent suffers from deep-seated psychological trauma resulting from years of repressing anger. Dent also has an an evil alter ego which shows itself whenever he loses his temper.

In The Dark Knight, Richard Dent was played by Aaron Eckhart, who portrayed Dent as a power-hungry, angry foe to Christian Bale’s Batman.

Number 3: She-Hulk

She’s mean. She’s green. And she’s a lawyer. Don’t mess with her.

She-Hulk is a Marvel Comics superhero who actually served as a lawyer for other superheroes.We’re not sure what that means but presumably it means defending against all the lawsuits from angry car and property owners whose property was trashed during epic battles on the streets of Gotham.

How is She-Hulk related to The Hulk?  She-Hulk is the cousin of the Incredible Hulk.  Apparently the green skin and surly temper runs in the family.

This must be the last Marvel comic character that hasn’t been remade into a Hollywood summer blockbuster movie, so I imagine we can expect to see She-Hulk starring Naomi Watts and Tobey Maguire some time soon.

 

Number 2: Robin from Earth-Two

I bet you didn’t think the boy in tights was a lawyer, did you?

It turns out that at least one version of “Robin” of Batman and Robin fame did more than just running around following Batman and wearing extremely tight tights.  In “Earth-Two,” an alternative version of the Batman and Robin tale, the Boy Wonder was depicted as a lawyer.

He even had a law firm which had a name — Cranston, Grayson and Wayne. With a name like that, it’s a wonder Robin never became Judge Robin.

Number 1: Lionel Hutz, The Simpsons.

Lionel Hutz has to come in first on this list, hands down. This classic character, voiced by the late Phil Hartman, was a mainstay on early episodes of The Simpsons before Hartman’s premature death. Hutz was a personification of every lawyer stereotype – he was depicted as an unethical, ambulance-chasing, storefront law firm-owning money hound. But it was all hilariously funny so it was all OK.

Hutz’s law firm is called “I Can’t Believe It’s A Law Firm!” and is located in a Springfield shopping mall. He was also known to use a phone booth as an office.

Here’s a classic Hutz line which explains why he comes in #1:

“Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog… Well, replace the word ‘kinda’ with ‘repeatedly’ and the word ‘dog’ with ‘son.'”

Did we miss any cartoon lawyers from this list?  Please note any omissions in the comments below.

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Related Reading:

  1. How to Write a Demand Letter
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  3. How to Fight Back if Someone Who Owes You Money Declares Bankruptcy
  4. The 5 Biggest Mistakes of Parties Who Represent Themselves in Court Without A Lawyer

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  12. vino veritas says:

    She-Hulk battling on the streets of Gotham??
    LOL! Now theres a crossover multiverse event we’ll likely never see! Too bad.

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