Stop Wasting Time on Social Media


“Social media is a cocktail party, and you cannot afford to be a wallflower.” — @johncorcoran (Tweet this.)

Let me paint a picture for you.

You are at a cocktail party. You’re mingling, having a good time, talking to some new and interesting people.

Now let’s imagine a new person shows up to the party. This new person grabs a drink, then he starts walking around, circling the other people who are talking in the middle of the room.

That new person keeps circling and circling, never actually talking to anyone at the party.

Everyone else is looking at this guy, thinking “who the heck is that person?”

But the guy just keeps circling and finally, after 30 minutes, he takes off.

No one ever finds out who he was, and that guy’s time was completely wasted.

That’s what it’s like with social media.

How People Use Social Media in the Wrong Way

People will go on Facebook or Instagram or LinkedIn for 45 minutes, looking through other people’s travel photos or pictures of their dog or reading their posts, without ever commenting or engaging. As a result, no one knows they were there.

If you care even a little bit about your own productivity, please do not do that.

Then these same people say “social media is a waste of time” because they don’t get any business from it.


I think that’s the wrong approach, and here’s why.

How You Can Use Social Media — the Right Way

Social media is one of the best things and the worst things to happen to business, especially small businesses, in decades.

On the one hand, it has leveled the playing field, allowing small businesses to break through the noise and get attention in spades.

On the other hand, a lot of small businesses go broke or go under wasting time using social media the wrong way.

I think you should use social media to develop relationships, and to turn those relationships into business, but as you’ve probably figured out by now, I don’t think you should rely solely on social media.

And, whatever you do, you should not be passive when using social media (any more than you should be passive when mingling at a face-to-face cocktail party.)

The reason a lot of people say social media is a waste of time is because most people don’t focus on engagement.

They consume, rather than engaging.

It’s much better to spend 10 minutes a day on social media engaging than it is to spend 60 minutes consuming. (Tweet this.)

When you are active and engage on social media, you can be helpful, you can share your knowledge, you can acknowledge others’ presence and and you can remind others of your own presence and value.

You are a part of the party, rather than on the perimeter watching from the sidelines. Social media is a quick and easy way to remain connected to the people in your broader network.

Social media is a cocktail party, and you cannot afford to be a wallflower. (Tweet this.)

I get people telling me in person all the time that they saw something I posted on LinkedIn or Facebook. Usually I have no idea they saw it. I am always baffled by this.

I would have no way of knowing they saw my post or photo if I didn’t run into them in person, because they didn’t engage with me online.

See the disconnect?

It’s like you see someone you know at a party, and rather than saying hello, you just walk away and later send them a handwritten letter in the snail mail saying you saw them at the party.

Why didn’t you just say hello in the first place? Or at least a head nod or a shrug or a goddamn wink or something.

So, are you engaging on social media?

Are you being an active participant, or are you a wallflower and a lurker?

If you have found social media to be a waste of time in the past, then I want you to try this simple 3-part test this week:

  1. Spend 1/2 as much time as you usually do on social media. Commit yourself to a period of time like 10 minutes or 15 minutes per day, and do not exceed that limit. (Set a timer if you need to.)
  2. While you are on social media, be active and engaging the entire time. That means you should be clicking “like” or leaving comments actively throughout your time.
  3. At the end of the week, review the people you connected with during the past week who you hadn’t connected with recently.  For bonus points, send 2-3 emails to these people saying that it was good connecting with them over Facebook or Twitter, etc.

Over time, you will see much better returns and you will waste far less of your time. I guarantee it.

Tell me in the comments below how you are going to commit to spending less time consuming and more time engaging on social media this week.

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  1. Awesome post John. I admit it took me a while to really learn how to use social media to my benefit. This is just a great reminder of what we’re doing wrong. I think a lot of us makes this mistakes starting out. Thanks

  2. Very interesting approach John. I’m reading Gary Vaynerchuks’ JJJRH at the moment, to get the basic understanding of how social media marketing works. You’re right that I’m spending some time on social media without engaging in other people’s content and that’s about to change from now on.

    Thanks for making this unproductive behaviour clear to me!

    All the best,

  3. I’m surprised this post has so few comments, you’d think everyone who read it would feel compelled to comment. Thanks for this awesome post John.

  4. Fine ! You talked about focus and attitude, now it’s time for me to talk about purpose. And obviously, walk the talk. Thanks for this “wake up” call :)

  5. Richelle Futch says:

    Love this post! So true, and so me (guilty). My commitment is to actually engage on others blogs. So I am committing to 3 comments on at least 3 different blogs each week to start.

    • I love that idea Richelle – but then don’t stop at leaving comments on the blog. Carry that relationship up the ladder. Send ‘em an email and try to find a way to help so you can develop more of a relationship. : )

      • Richelle Futch says:

        Great suggestion! Way to get me to commit to 1 thing and then add just one small more step. In my biz (therapy) we call that a ‘foot in the door’ strategy (opposite of the also effective door in the face strategy). Well played! :) I will commit to 3 comments and 1 email in the next 7 days. Then add to it from there. Thank you coach!

  6. Thanks for the reminder, John. Even though I write soul baring blog posts, I’ve been reluctant to “join the party” and comment on other posts. Although my goal is to create as much as I consume, I get it now that a large part of that creation is contributing to what others create. I think I was secretly operating out of a visibility = vulnerability mode. Thanks for encouraging me to comment and continually contribute.

  7. Nice article John! This is a lesson I learned in school during a fundraiser. We were writing letters to adults we knew. The best tip we were told was to put a personal note in the letter of request for funding. People more valuable than their checkbook and they need to feel that way. When I read posts I rarely leave a comment. This made me realize I should more often. Thanks for the insight.

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